Both steel and oil are important to industrial revolution. Two great men, Andrew Carnegie and Rockefeller, earned their wealth by dealing with the steel and oil.
Andrew Carnegie was born in a poor family in Scotland. He came to U.S. in 1848 when he is twelve. At his eighteenth, he became private secretary to the local superintendent of the Pennsylvania Railroad. Carnegie received his first dividend soon after his boss allowed him to buy stock. He left his job at the Pennsylvania Railroad in 1865 and began his steel business in 1873. As he dealing with steel company, his talent in business revealed. He tried to gain as much control of steel industry as he could. By 1899, the amount of steel that Carnegie’s company manufactured is greater than the total amount of steel manufactured by Great Britain. The explanations for Carnegie’s success are hard work, shrewd investment, and innovative business practice.
In the contrast, John D. Rockefeller gained his wealth in another way. Rockefeller gained his fortune by a trust which provided by other people . Rockefeller’s Standard Oil Company only possessed 2-3 percent of the country’s crude oil in 1870. In order to drove his competitors out of this business, Rockefeller sold the oil in a price that even lower than the production cost. As soon as he controlled the market, he hiked the price far more than original and gained huge profit. No more than ten years, Rockefeller gained the total control of the oil industry in America.
Both Carnegie and Rockefeller spent part of their property in philanthropy. Rockefeller Foundation, established by Rockefeller for over $500 million, provided funds to found the University of Chicago and created a medical institute. Carnegie donated about 90 percent of his whole wealth to support the arts and learning.
11 comments:
I liked how you presented specific information on both Carnegie and Rockefeller; a fair amount of dates included.
However, you might want to check over your grammar. A few of your sentences sound awkward, and could be reworded, such as the sentence beginning with "In the contrast..."
Thank you for the good information about Rockefeller and Carnegie. I am intrigued by Mr. Rockefeller's risky-yet-successful business methods.
Very detailed about how two men gained fortune by using their own methods. I think that Mr. Rockefeller was very powerful at managing his company, and the trusts that he gained. Sentence flow was very fluent, although there were some grammatical errors.
I liked the formatting, and it was well composed. A picture would have made it better though. overall good job.
Nicely composed about Mr. Carnegie's and Mr. Rockefeller's rise to wealth and how they spend their wealth for the greater good. A picture of both men please.
Some sections seem choppy, but overall well composed- not so long that it's difficult to read, and with enough dates that we get a time-frame of when this happened.
Nice format and good description of both men with the compare/contrast. Some revision could have been used with the grammatical mistakes and a picture would have helped as well, but good job.
Like the others said, there are some grammatical errors. Also, it is not that fluid. However, you present the information pretty well. I learned some new information about Andrew Carnegie and Rockefeller.
Well structured. It is easy to read despite some grammatical errors. And I learned a lot about Rockefeller and Carnegie.
great job! i like the way you included actual dates and percentages. there were a few mistakes but overall it was pretty good.
Great information, I'm very impressed with all the great things both of these individuals have done?
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